Post by xLEGACYx on Dec 21, 2015 21:19:26 GMT
Making an executive decision, Ruinus and I decided to go ahead with only 2 sets of scores below is out assessments of each individual story.
RUINUS
Potterpuppetpals
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 4[/b]
This first entry is pretty damn great. I missed the title, so had no clue it was a crossover with Jay and Silent Bob. But the setting of London was described wonderfully and really set up the horror atmosphere. I would have graded this higher, but couldn't give it a full score on characterization since two of the characters only appear for about a second. Similarly, while well written, the use of Jay and Bob isn't the most creative. I mean, I suppose it is because they are time travelers (somehow) and while that isn't outside the realm of their characters (they hung out with God for a while), they weren't particularly used in any creative way.
SSJRUSS
Theme 4
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 3[/b]
I don't really care for the format use of single sentences like this, but I though it worked here. Since this is psychological horror more than jumpscare, the single sentences gave me the impression of ideas coming through the fog of half-sleep. I, again, wasn't aware that Slenderman was being used here, and while I'm not too familiar with his character, I wasn't even aware he could "talk" to people through nightmares. Hell, it could have been any nightmare monster rather than Slenderman at the end there - since I initially thought it might have been Freddy or just pure normal nightmares in a zombie world. What I'm saying is, if SSJRuss had removed the Slenderman link at the bottom, the entire story still functions - something that works for a story but not quite for a tournament where we grade the characterization of the two crossovers.
Terranova
Theme 4
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 4[/b]
Ha. If only it had been that pretentious snob Garfield instead of poor Odie. I also realize that it's hard for me to grade on characterization on some of the villains, since other than doing completely out-of-character acts, which haven't happened in any entry, most of the villains only appear until the end.
ND10
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 5
Char 5[/b]
Jesus, this one is perfect. The only gripe I had with it is the use of the term "healing factor" which momentarily drew me out of the story and brought me to flashbacks of comic book debates.
xLEGACYx
Terranova
Theme 4.5
Grammar 5
Creativity 4
Characterization 4
I really like how you blended the world of Garfield with Cujo here. The two characters fit together logically within the story very well. I wish there was a little more to the story though, something that would accent Cujo’s character a little more. Garfield was done well but just felt as though more could have been done with the villain. The grammar was spot on though.
SSJRuss
Theme 5
Grammar 3.5
Creativity 4
Characterization 3
I think the idea of the Slender Man creeping up on Lee and Clementine is a great idea. On the other hand, I didn’t like the way it was presented. The story structure was not appealing with everything center aligned. Maybe it is just me but it made it seem slightly confusing to read. The characterization of Lee and Clem was pretty good but I had no idea this was Slenderman until I saw the end of the story. The overall theme of the story was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for.
ND10
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity 5
Characterization 5
Awesome! I loved your whole story. The horror was really dialed in the way almost all of Jason’s movies go. Overzealous and idiotic people invading Jason’s space. I like how the two guys tied into Courage’s life. Don’t know a tremendous amount about Courage but I remember how he would go through extreme punishment to protect his oblivious owners. My overall favorite part was the build up of the two guys going through Camp Crystal Lake.
Potterpuppetpals
Theme 5
Grammar 4.5
Creativity 3.5
Characterization 5
I loved the narrative view you gave from an outside party. The old style phrases set a good tone for the story as well. With the old english setting and narrative, it had me thinking of Sherlock Holmes to begin with. The grammar was nice with only a few sentence fragments that looked out of place at times. The only thing I really didn’t like was Jay and Silent Bob. They didn’t seem to fit into the story in any sense. (Setting, time period, genre, etc) They seemed to just be randomly thrown into the story. The narrator had very good characterization though. I liked how you used his personality to influence the feel of the story.
Contact me in a PM about your prize. ($25 Amazon gift card)
Sorry again for the delay
RUINUS
Potterpuppetpals
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 4[/b]
This first entry is pretty damn great. I missed the title, so had no clue it was a crossover with Jay and Silent Bob. But the setting of London was described wonderfully and really set up the horror atmosphere. I would have graded this higher, but couldn't give it a full score on characterization since two of the characters only appear for about a second. Similarly, while well written, the use of Jay and Bob isn't the most creative. I mean, I suppose it is because they are time travelers (somehow) and while that isn't outside the realm of their characters (they hung out with God for a while), they weren't particularly used in any creative way.
SSJRUSS
Theme 4
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 3[/b]
I don't really care for the format use of single sentences like this, but I though it worked here. Since this is psychological horror more than jumpscare, the single sentences gave me the impression of ideas coming through the fog of half-sleep. I, again, wasn't aware that Slenderman was being used here, and while I'm not too familiar with his character, I wasn't even aware he could "talk" to people through nightmares. Hell, it could have been any nightmare monster rather than Slenderman at the end there - since I initially thought it might have been Freddy or just pure normal nightmares in a zombie world. What I'm saying is, if SSJRuss had removed the Slenderman link at the bottom, the entire story still functions - something that works for a story but not quite for a tournament where we grade the characterization of the two crossovers.
Terranova
Theme 4
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 4
Char 4[/b]
Ha. If only it had been that pretentious snob Garfield instead of poor Odie. I also realize that it's hard for me to grade on characterization on some of the villains, since other than doing completely out-of-character acts, which haven't happened in any entry, most of the villains only appear until the end.
ND10
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity[/i] 5
Char 5[/b]
Jesus, this one is perfect. The only gripe I had with it is the use of the term "healing factor" which momentarily drew me out of the story and brought me to flashbacks of comic book debates.
xLEGACYx
Terranova
Theme 4.5
Grammar 5
Creativity 4
Characterization 4
I really like how you blended the world of Garfield with Cujo here. The two characters fit together logically within the story very well. I wish there was a little more to the story though, something that would accent Cujo’s character a little more. Garfield was done well but just felt as though more could have been done with the villain. The grammar was spot on though.
SSJRuss
Theme 5
Grammar 3.5
Creativity 4
Characterization 3
I think the idea of the Slender Man creeping up on Lee and Clementine is a great idea. On the other hand, I didn’t like the way it was presented. The story structure was not appealing with everything center aligned. Maybe it is just me but it made it seem slightly confusing to read. The characterization of Lee and Clem was pretty good but I had no idea this was Slenderman until I saw the end of the story. The overall theme of the story was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for.
ND10
Theme 5
Grammar 5
Creativity 5
Characterization 5
Awesome! I loved your whole story. The horror was really dialed in the way almost all of Jason’s movies go. Overzealous and idiotic people invading Jason’s space. I like how the two guys tied into Courage’s life. Don’t know a tremendous amount about Courage but I remember how he would go through extreme punishment to protect his oblivious owners. My overall favorite part was the build up of the two guys going through Camp Crystal Lake.
Potterpuppetpals
Theme 5
Grammar 4.5
Creativity 3.5
Characterization 5
I loved the narrative view you gave from an outside party. The old style phrases set a good tone for the story as well. With the old english setting and narrative, it had me thinking of Sherlock Holmes to begin with. The grammar was nice with only a few sentence fragments that looked out of place at times. The only thing I really didn’t like was Jay and Silent Bob. They didn’t seem to fit into the story in any sense. (Setting, time period, genre, etc) They seemed to just be randomly thrown into the story. The narrator had very good characterization though. I liked how you used his personality to influence the feel of the story.
So after seeing the scores the new OFFICIAL MATCH CHAMPION IS ND10 Congratulations ND10 on your win.
Contact me in a PM about your prize. ($25 Amazon gift card)
Sorry again for the delay
Since you've won the competition, your match will also be added to the 
