Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2015 13:53:14 GMT
"So where are we goin', exactly?" asked the Scout to Nerasnus, the brother of Merasmus.
"Good god, do you ever shut up? Ugh..." sighed Nerasnus.
"I think we would all like answers, right doctor?" said the Heavy, who was walking a fair distance behind Scout, Medic and Nerasnus. The gang arrived at Nerasnus's cave, where he kept all his magic sh*t.
"Ja! What is this place, wizard?" asked the Medic.
"This is my wizard cave. It's not as fancy as Merasmus's castle, but I need this place in order to concoct more elaborate spells, such as the time travelling spell. Due to the immense magical energy in this area, i can pull off such a spell without fracturing the space time continuum," said Nerasnus while inside the cave.
"I must say, all of this talk of magic really does go over my head. I am a man of science and logic, after all," said the Medic while scratching the back of his head.
"Oh, please don't tell me that you're going to be the boring skeptic of this team who doesn't believe in magic because it's 'illogical'. Mister Medic, I can say with great certainty that magic is real," said Nerasnus while waving his arms around like a mad man.
"Oh, I never said I don't believe in magic. I have been thinking of harnessing the stuff to amplify my medigun," exclaimed Medic with a disturbingly large grin on his face.
Nerasnus sat down and got a large dusty book off a shelf. He opened it, and read out an unpronounceable spell. His eyes glowed green, and then all four men vanished in a cloud of purple mist...
Back in 1850, the Engineer, the Demoman, and Merasmus were all still walking through the desert with barely a hope of survival. Then, all three of them saw something in the distance. It was a giant woolly mammoth!
"Either I've gone completely do-lalley, or there's a woolly mammoth standing right in front of me!" said the Engineer with a look of pure terror on his face. The mammoth reared up, and then knocked Engineer miles away with a single swipe of its tusk.
"Why the heck is a mammoth in the Badlands in 1850?" asked Merasmus to himself, as he knew Demoman wouldn't have a clue.
"COME OOOON! Bring it, you hairy prehistoric beast!" yelled Demoman just before he leaped onto the mammoth's tusk and started beating it senseless. The mammoth let out a yelp as Demoman planted his fist through its skull. Then the mammoth fell over, dead as a door nail.
"Holy sh*t! How the... What just... I don't..." babbled Merasmus in disbelief.
"Being the third most durable class in the game helps! Hee hee!" giggled Demoman. Merasmus just looked at Demoman with a look of utter disbelief and confusion. The two then ran over to the Engineer, who was out cold. The two men looked around, and then saw a whole army of Spartan warriors heading towards them. An orange-bearded one was running up to them with a massive sword in his hand.
"This madness!" said Merasmus.
"Madness? THIS IS... Wait, where the hell are we, exactly?" asked the Spartan leader to his men.
"Ugh! I have had enough of this! BOMBNOMICON! I summon thee!" yelled Merasmus. In an instant, the dreaded book of evil, Bombnomicon, was in Merasmus's hands.
"Oh hey! Here's some free bombs!" said the Bombnomicon before spitting out a hundred cartoonish bombs at the Spartans, blowing them all to pieces. As it was raining Spartan body parts, there was a flash of light. Nerasnus, Scout, Medic, and Heavy all appeared before them.
"Nerasnus? What the hell are you doing here?" asked Merasmus to his green-clad brother.
"Brother, your thoughtless actions have threatened the existence of everything! We are here to destroy you and put an end to your threat forever!" yelled Nerasnus.
"And we're also here for our friends!" said the Heavy while smashing his fists together.
"You'll never take me alive, brother!" yelled Merasmus before letting out a stream of magical fire at his opponents. Medic used his medigun to turn the Heavy into a red monster of pure rage while the Scout cocked his sawed off shotgun and prepared to fire. Heavy ran forward and absorbed all of the fire that Merasmus was shooting at him, and then punched Merasmus very hard in the groin. Scout then shot Merasmus several times. Merasmus fell over, and pretended to be dead. Nerasnus then cast a spell that fixed the space time continuum and sent all of the Spartans and mammoths back to their own time periods.
"Alright, it is done. Now, it is time for us to leave," said Nerasnus before striking himself and his allies with a bolt of lightning that would send them back to the 1970s. However, just before they went, Merasmus screamed and grabbed onto Dell Conagher's leg, and hitched a ride back to the 1970s with them. Unfortunately, Merasmus is still at large, and will always come back on Halloween to haunt to servers of Team Fortress 2.
Well, the story is over. Now I can finally go and have my breakfast steak. SAXTON HALE FTW!!!
"Good god, do you ever shut up? Ugh..." sighed Nerasnus.
"I think we would all like answers, right doctor?" said the Heavy, who was walking a fair distance behind Scout, Medic and Nerasnus. The gang arrived at Nerasnus's cave, where he kept all his magic sh*t.
"Ja! What is this place, wizard?" asked the Medic.
"This is my wizard cave. It's not as fancy as Merasmus's castle, but I need this place in order to concoct more elaborate spells, such as the time travelling spell. Due to the immense magical energy in this area, i can pull off such a spell without fracturing the space time continuum," said Nerasnus while inside the cave.
"I must say, all of this talk of magic really does go over my head. I am a man of science and logic, after all," said the Medic while scratching the back of his head.
"Oh, please don't tell me that you're going to be the boring skeptic of this team who doesn't believe in magic because it's 'illogical'. Mister Medic, I can say with great certainty that magic is real," said Nerasnus while waving his arms around like a mad man.
"Oh, I never said I don't believe in magic. I have been thinking of harnessing the stuff to amplify my medigun," exclaimed Medic with a disturbingly large grin on his face.
Nerasnus sat down and got a large dusty book off a shelf. He opened it, and read out an unpronounceable spell. His eyes glowed green, and then all four men vanished in a cloud of purple mist...
Back in 1850, the Engineer, the Demoman, and Merasmus were all still walking through the desert with barely a hope of survival. Then, all three of them saw something in the distance. It was a giant woolly mammoth!
"Either I've gone completely do-lalley, or there's a woolly mammoth standing right in front of me!" said the Engineer with a look of pure terror on his face. The mammoth reared up, and then knocked Engineer miles away with a single swipe of its tusk.
"Why the heck is a mammoth in the Badlands in 1850?" asked Merasmus to himself, as he knew Demoman wouldn't have a clue.
"COME OOOON! Bring it, you hairy prehistoric beast!" yelled Demoman just before he leaped onto the mammoth's tusk and started beating it senseless. The mammoth let out a yelp as Demoman planted his fist through its skull. Then the mammoth fell over, dead as a door nail.
"Holy sh*t! How the... What just... I don't..." babbled Merasmus in disbelief.
"Being the third most durable class in the game helps! Hee hee!" giggled Demoman. Merasmus just looked at Demoman with a look of utter disbelief and confusion. The two then ran over to the Engineer, who was out cold. The two men looked around, and then saw a whole army of Spartan warriors heading towards them. An orange-bearded one was running up to them with a massive sword in his hand.
"This madness!" said Merasmus.
"Madness? THIS IS... Wait, where the hell are we, exactly?" asked the Spartan leader to his men.
"Ugh! I have had enough of this! BOMBNOMICON! I summon thee!" yelled Merasmus. In an instant, the dreaded book of evil, Bombnomicon, was in Merasmus's hands.
"Oh hey! Here's some free bombs!" said the Bombnomicon before spitting out a hundred cartoonish bombs at the Spartans, blowing them all to pieces. As it was raining Spartan body parts, there was a flash of light. Nerasnus, Scout, Medic, and Heavy all appeared before them.
"Nerasnus? What the hell are you doing here?" asked Merasmus to his green-clad brother.
"Brother, your thoughtless actions have threatened the existence of everything! We are here to destroy you and put an end to your threat forever!" yelled Nerasnus.
"And we're also here for our friends!" said the Heavy while smashing his fists together.
"You'll never take me alive, brother!" yelled Merasmus before letting out a stream of magical fire at his opponents. Medic used his medigun to turn the Heavy into a red monster of pure rage while the Scout cocked his sawed off shotgun and prepared to fire. Heavy ran forward and absorbed all of the fire that Merasmus was shooting at him, and then punched Merasmus very hard in the groin. Scout then shot Merasmus several times. Merasmus fell over, and pretended to be dead. Nerasnus then cast a spell that fixed the space time continuum and sent all of the Spartans and mammoths back to their own time periods.
"Alright, it is done. Now, it is time for us to leave," said Nerasnus before striking himself and his allies with a bolt of lightning that would send them back to the 1970s. However, just before they went, Merasmus screamed and grabbed onto Dell Conagher's leg, and hitched a ride back to the 1970s with them. Unfortunately, Merasmus is still at large, and will always come back on Halloween to haunt to servers of Team Fortress 2.
Well, the story is over. Now I can finally go and have my breakfast steak. SAXTON HALE FTW!!!