Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 14:27:36 GMT
The world of Team Fortress gets more deranged every second, and the same can be said for my mercenaries' wacky adventures. My name is Saxton Hale, adventurer, dangerous animal wrestler, and all-round nice bloke. While that slippery, slimy snake of a Mann, Gray, may have stolen my company, I still make a living telling weird-arse stories to chumps like you. Wait, hold on a second.
What is it, Mags? What do you mean I can't call readers chumps?.. *sigh*... Alright.
Erm... Sorry, readers, I didn't mean to call you chumps. Anyway, I think it's about time I told you the story. While it may not be as skull-smashingly sensational as my famous comic book series, it should keep you entertained for a while.
Our story begins in the deserts on the outskirts of Teufort, sometime in the early 1970s. The RED Engineer, Dell Conagher, and the RED Demoman, Tavish DeGroot, where ambling around the desert, pissed as puddings. While both mercs were well known for how much booze they drank, only God knows how much damage they did to their livers that night.
So yeah, they were ambling around the place, when suddenly, they were ambushed by an evil wizard called Merasmus, who had fought both RED and BLU before.
"Merasmus!? What the *hic* bloody hell are you *hic* doing here?" asked Demoman while hiccuping like a hiccuping thing.
"Ha ha! I am here to send both of you back in time to 65 million BC, where you will both be eaten alive by dinosaurs!" cackled the evil wizard while floating around like a ghost.
"Run, Demoman!" yelled the Emgineer. And they did run. Half a mile, in fact. Not bad for a couple of drunken mercenaries who usually sit around and let sentries do all the work for them.
However, their efforts to escape Merasmus were in vain, as Merasmus teleported in front of them, opened up some weird magic portal or some shit, and BAM! They were all sent back in time! Except, they were sent back to 1850 instead of 65 million years ago. Merasmus is no mathematician.
"What the hell? Where are the dinosaurs? This doesn't look like the Cretaceous Era at all!" asked a very confused Merasmus.
Now don't go anywhere, folks! The story will continue when the author (I think Potterpuppetpals is his name) can be asked to finish it! Cheerio!
To be continued...
What is it, Mags? What do you mean I can't call readers chumps?.. *sigh*... Alright.
Erm... Sorry, readers, I didn't mean to call you chumps. Anyway, I think it's about time I told you the story. While it may not be as skull-smashingly sensational as my famous comic book series, it should keep you entertained for a while.
Our story begins in the deserts on the outskirts of Teufort, sometime in the early 1970s. The RED Engineer, Dell Conagher, and the RED Demoman, Tavish DeGroot, where ambling around the desert, pissed as puddings. While both mercs were well known for how much booze they drank, only God knows how much damage they did to their livers that night.
So yeah, they were ambling around the place, when suddenly, they were ambushed by an evil wizard called Merasmus, who had fought both RED and BLU before.
"Merasmus!? What the *hic* bloody hell are you *hic* doing here?" asked Demoman while hiccuping like a hiccuping thing.
"Ha ha! I am here to send both of you back in time to 65 million BC, where you will both be eaten alive by dinosaurs!" cackled the evil wizard while floating around like a ghost.
"Run, Demoman!" yelled the Emgineer. And they did run. Half a mile, in fact. Not bad for a couple of drunken mercenaries who usually sit around and let sentries do all the work for them.
However, their efforts to escape Merasmus were in vain, as Merasmus teleported in front of them, opened up some weird magic portal or some shit, and BAM! They were all sent back in time! Except, they were sent back to 1850 instead of 65 million years ago. Merasmus is no mathematician.
"What the hell? Where are the dinosaurs? This doesn't look like the Cretaceous Era at all!" asked a very confused Merasmus.
Now don't go anywhere, folks! The story will continue when the author (I think Potterpuppetpals is his name) can be asked to finish it! Cheerio!
To be continued...