Post by Hugo on Dec 25, 2013 2:59:29 GMT
Crime is an ever-present threat in the town of Vice City. A place where crooks, crooked. Hussies, hustled and Crime Lords lorded over the people. And yet there would be hope. A protector for the people, rising up and leaving criminals strung up for the police to find, and the smell of swamp lingering... Now let us cut to a typical scene....Three people, common petty thugs. Indulging in theft and mugging as the brave souls in the prime of their youth beat an old lady for the pennies in her purse. More for the thrill, then anything else though eyes would watch....And judge them accordingly. But as was typical for this part, the thugs would make it to an appropriate place. Atop a roof as he and his buddies divided the loot that night, though one of them would look around nervously. A fact not lost on his buddies as one spoke.
"Oi. Whats wrong man? Too much of a pussy to take the cut?"
"No, no...Its...You hear about Ricky? I heard....The THING got him."
His buddies would look at him strangely before chuckling. Unaware of the thing in the shadows coming down silently. A long, sinuous tongue snaking out once, like some snake on the prowl. "The Thing? Just a legend...Ricky was stupid, he just fell off the bridge. Drunk off his ass and...You smell that?" All three would sniff the air before they suddenly realized what it was. That damp, earthy smell of aqua and terra intermingled....Swamp smell.
"Holy fu-"
But it was too late. The disbeliever would go out first. Hands reaching out to smack the side of his head like a redheaded stepchild. The face, frozen in an attitude of fear and disbelief before all went black. The second would attempt to get up and bash his head in with a crowbar. To no avail as strong hands, webbed and cool would grab it in mid-swing and throw him over his head and off the roof. Leaving the lone thug, whose pants now bore a dark stain from his fear and the fight out of him as the being came and lifted him over the edge of the roof. "AH! DON'T KILL ME! OH GOD, DON'T KILL ME!"
"Thisa nota bombad squash! Mesa want you to tell moi-moi about me. All yousa friends. All yoursa enemies..."
The thug would choke in his grasp, but manage to squeeze out. "Who...Who are you?" And then for the first time, he would see his face...That horrible, grinning face. Those floppy ears, those eyes! And that....VOICE! The stuff of nightmares truly and one the criminals of Vice City would learn to fear.
"Mesa Jar Jar Binks."
That was one week ago....Now? Back in his hideout, Jar Jar would have been looking down. His big ears sagging and his eyes sunken in sadness. What had gone wrong? The people seemed to fear him as much as the criminals, and a lady he had saved earlier tased him. This was not what he was expecting when he signed up with Batman Inc. And as he contemplated, the whirring hum of servos would echo in the Bink-cave as the smell of brewed leaves from his homeworld filled the air and C-3PO, bearing a tray of tea looked at him.
"Whats wrong Master Binks?""Mesa all confused. No one like Jar Jar Binks....Theysa say I talk funny. Theysa say I look funny. No one likem Jar Jar, no matter what mesa do to help...Mesa even join BATMAN! Bombad Batman himself! And STILL no one like Jar Jar."He sighed and looked down at the cowl, specifically made for him and his training at the real Batmans hands.
*EPIC FLASHBACK MONTAGE*
"You suck!"
"You ruined Star Wars!"
"You deserve to die!"
"Who ate my pie?!"
"This freak thinks he can become BATMAN?!"
"ENOUGH!"
All the students who had been picking on the new alien would be cowed as the real Batman moved through them to Jar Jar, who curled up in a fetal position looked up at him as the other spoke."Whatever you may have been out there....It doesn't matter here. You are vengeance. You are the night. You will become....Batman. One way or another."
*END EPIC FLASHBACK SCENE.*
No....His Master was right. And raising himself up, Jar Jar pulled on the cloak and and spoke."Any bombad happenings tonight?""Well, I intercepted a drug drop over at the harbors, but-""Thatsa good enough for mesa!"And haplessly, 3PO would watch as Jar Jar Binks ran out for the Bink-Mobile™ and gave a good approximation of a sigh."You forgot your mask, sir.""Ah, thank you 3PO!"
"Of course sir."
The setup: With a Bink-Mobile™, Bink-Gadgets™, and the training of the Batman behind him, can Jar-Jar Binks stop this shipment? Find out soon!
Additional Note: I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK! YEEEAH!
"Oi. Whats wrong man? Too much of a pussy to take the cut?"
"No, no...Its...You hear about Ricky? I heard....The THING got him."
His buddies would look at him strangely before chuckling. Unaware of the thing in the shadows coming down silently. A long, sinuous tongue snaking out once, like some snake on the prowl. "The Thing? Just a legend...Ricky was stupid, he just fell off the bridge. Drunk off his ass and...You smell that?" All three would sniff the air before they suddenly realized what it was. That damp, earthy smell of aqua and terra intermingled....Swamp smell.
"Holy fu-"
But it was too late. The disbeliever would go out first. Hands reaching out to smack the side of his head like a redheaded stepchild. The face, frozen in an attitude of fear and disbelief before all went black. The second would attempt to get up and bash his head in with a crowbar. To no avail as strong hands, webbed and cool would grab it in mid-swing and throw him over his head and off the roof. Leaving the lone thug, whose pants now bore a dark stain from his fear and the fight out of him as the being came and lifted him over the edge of the roof. "AH! DON'T KILL ME! OH GOD, DON'T KILL ME!"
"Thisa nota bombad squash! Mesa want you to tell moi-moi about me. All yousa friends. All yoursa enemies..."
The thug would choke in his grasp, but manage to squeeze out. "Who...Who are you?" And then for the first time, he would see his face...That horrible, grinning face. Those floppy ears, those eyes! And that....VOICE! The stuff of nightmares truly and one the criminals of Vice City would learn to fear.
"Mesa Jar Jar Binks."
That was one week ago....Now? Back in his hideout, Jar Jar would have been looking down. His big ears sagging and his eyes sunken in sadness. What had gone wrong? The people seemed to fear him as much as the criminals, and a lady he had saved earlier tased him. This was not what he was expecting when he signed up with Batman Inc. And as he contemplated, the whirring hum of servos would echo in the Bink-cave as the smell of brewed leaves from his homeworld filled the air and C-3PO, bearing a tray of tea looked at him.
"Whats wrong Master Binks?""Mesa all confused. No one like Jar Jar Binks....Theysa say I talk funny. Theysa say I look funny. No one likem Jar Jar, no matter what mesa do to help...Mesa even join BATMAN! Bombad Batman himself! And STILL no one like Jar Jar."He sighed and looked down at the cowl, specifically made for him and his training at the real Batmans hands.
*EPIC FLASHBACK MONTAGE*
"You suck!"
"You ruined Star Wars!"
"You deserve to die!"
"Who ate my pie?!"
"This freak thinks he can become BATMAN?!"
"ENOUGH!"
All the students who had been picking on the new alien would be cowed as the real Batman moved through them to Jar Jar, who curled up in a fetal position looked up at him as the other spoke."Whatever you may have been out there....It doesn't matter here. You are vengeance. You are the night. You will become....Batman. One way or another."
*END EPIC FLASHBACK SCENE.*
No....His Master was right. And raising himself up, Jar Jar pulled on the cloak and and spoke."Any bombad happenings tonight?""Well, I intercepted a drug drop over at the harbors, but-""Thatsa good enough for mesa!"And haplessly, 3PO would watch as Jar Jar Binks ran out for the Bink-Mobile™ and gave a good approximation of a sigh."You forgot your mask, sir.""Ah, thank you 3PO!"
"Of course sir."
The setup: With a Bink-Mobile™, Bink-Gadgets™, and the training of the Batman behind him, can Jar-Jar Binks stop this shipment? Find out soon!
Additional Note: I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK! YEEEAH!
