Post by Nova Prime X on Jul 8, 2015 18:48:30 GMT
"Agent Washington and the fools that served under him only succeeded in delaying the inevitable and paid with their lives in the end. As for the money, I imagine you'll find far more uses for it than I could. That old name no longer has any meaning to me. It's dust in the wind. Just as Chorus is." The more stoic of the pair stated before grabbing the poster as Felix slid it over to him. "Just because we've completed all that's been asked of us doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to get rusty. We'll take the job. Riding the galaxy of a fool such as this is more of a service than anything else, really."
"Well no duh Locus, we're in our prime. So much more to do, why the fuck would we let ourselves rust? You're crazy to even consider that an option. And man, what was with your obsession with Wash anyways? Agent Washington this, Agent Washington that. Did you want to put a ring on him or something? No judgment if you did."
*beat*
"Well maybe a little. A little judgment. And yeah exactly my thoughts! It's like charity at this point right?" He smirked under his helmet. "So that just leaves us tracking him down. Did you want to call the head jackass or should the people person do it?"
"I doubt it'd be the first time you've referred to me as crazy and I'm sure it won't be the last." Locus growled as Felix then brought up his obsession with Washington. "There were many things Agent Washington was. He wasn't as insistent on being a chattering pest like you." He'd snarl before shrugging his shoulders. "You're the one who brought up the idea, you'll be the one handling the business matters of it, 'people person.'"
"You know me so well Locus. I call it as I see it. And yeah, I'm sure he wasn't. He wasn't as awesome either." He boasted with a grin that faded rapidly. Hargrove...what an asshole. "Yeah yeah." He stepped up, activating their two way comm. "Hey bossman. We got the job done, so I want to reap the benefits. Then there's this other thing. You got a wide network. Surely you could use that to help us out. With the next job...actually, more a favor to the universe. Jar Jar Binks."
And then he mostly tuned out the Chairman's reply, saving it to his helmetcam so he can use it later, switching off the comm. "Did you get all that, Locus?"
"Awesome isn't exactly the word that I'd use. Now, get to it." Locus shooed and he was already on the move to get and ready for this hunt. "I heard it loud and clear. Let's get this over with."
"Will you chill? We're not even on the right planet, so we gotta take the Tartarus or something. Hope you're ready for a quick trip."
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"Wakey wakey, Locus. We're here now." He remarked, tapping his partner right on his fishbowl of a helmet as Sam and Ross and more of the soldiers under their command brought the UNSC Tartarus down through orbit, heading for planetary docking. "Come on, this is the place. Apparently the target's homeworld. Naboo or some shit, doesn't really matter. You and me though, we gotta get off the ship before we even get close to docking at the spaceport. Much as I'd like to see you trying to force your way through Customs..." He snickered at the thought. Big and stoic Locus carrying enough weapons to kill a city. A pistol, a shotgun, a SAW, a sniper, Incineration Cannon, two attached wrist flamethrowers, armor cloaking, grenades, hidden blades, hardlight shielding...heh heh heh.
"...We don't got that kind of time." He sauntered out of the bridge, heading for the starboard side bay release doors. Once in position, he radio'd back to his men. "Yo, Ross! Open the bay doors!" A slam of the release later, the door slid open with a snap hiss as he cracked his knuckles, turning to his partner.
"Bet I stick the landing better." He chuckled darkly. "See you at the bottom."
He hopped out of the ship, soaring through the air like a bullet head first. The ground was rapidly approaching, grassy plains a few klicks outside a forest...and beyond that the city. He waited to near the last second before spinning in mid-air. Right on time to land on his feet, coming up in a crouch with his gun at the ready. Nothing in sight.
Relaxing, he glanced up and counted the seconds until Locus hit the ground too.
He didn't have to wait long. A single application of jump jets in his boots as he plummeted, lowering his velocity and upon hitting the ground firmly, broke into a smooth walk without blinking an eye.
"Really? Just like that? No flashy moves?"
"Those are for amateurs. Or you." The last word snarled with venom.
"Oh so harsh. What's wrong with having a little fun on a hobby?"
"This isn't a hobby. This is a job. Not that I would expect you to get that."
"Lighten up, man. Now, the supposed location of the target's hometown is...37 klicks that way and half a klick down. Want to race?"
"No."
"You sure? You'll be way behind if you don't keep up."
"...Fine."
"Cool. 2 grand on me." He smirked, amused at bringing the normally stoic machine to his level.
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37 kilometers and two grand lost in Felix's case(ow), the two mercenaries stood at the precipice edge of a large lake. "Well this is it. The place is down below. Better make sure your suit is sealed, hold your breath and hope nothing big and scary comes after you before you reach the city."
"I am not scared of any fish."
"Don't have to be scared to be swallowed up."
"I would simply blast my way out."
"You would."
"Are you done wasting time?"
"Sheesh, you in a hurry to talk to the humanoid squid people? Fine fine."
He leapt in without another word, Locus following in his wake equally silent and grateful that he would get at least a few minutes of unconditional silence. Their descent was uneventful, barely any native wildlife beyond fish in the distance seen. And even Locus had to admit, the sight of the water city was something to behold.
Pushing through the barrier that separated the water from the home of its inhabitants, they were met with a sizable amount of Gungans staring at them, wary. The last time they had been visited by two strangers...it had eventually brought war.
"Hey there. We come in peace."
"...You are armed. Why would you be armed if you came in peace?"
The two simply shared a glance, making up their minds on the spot.
"You got me there." He admitted playfully before drawing his sidearm swiftly, barrel of the pistol pressed up against the Gungan's head. He heard the loud cocking of his partner's shotgun and smirked, jamming his gun in further. "I'll say it one more time for the hearing impaired. We came in peace. You can either accept that or we'll leave you in pieces. And before you get any bright ideas about outnumbering us by a large amount, you should know...us two? We killed an entire planet."
"Stop rubbing it in."
"You two do not seem to be friendly, so the idea of you two partnering is--"
"We're not friends. After all, you should never mix business with pleasure. But we just work best together. Now...that doesn't sound like a surrender to me. Care to press your luck? You got thirty seconds."
"You can't just--"
"29."
"This is--"
"28."
"................What do you want?"
"Locus, wanna tell them what they won?"
"No." He turned to the Gungans. "Take us to your leader, we have business to ask of him."
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"...Whysa dese hoomans here?!"
"We have come for information."
"Whysa would we give yu anythin?"
"Because you wouldn't be much of a leader if there was no city to rule over. Right now as we stand here talking, we have a starship in orbit with it's laser cannon pointed down." He gestured at his boots. "Right here. If we wanted to, we could turn this place to dust." He crossed his arms.
"...Dese two are like the Naboo." There was a rumbling of agreement as the two mercenaries glanced at each other again.
"You have any idea what that means?"
"No."
"Wesa no like the Naboo. Da Naboo tink day so smarty, day tink day brains so big!" The big fish laughed, fixing his eyes on the mercs. "Yousa wuld not fire dis weapon. Yousa wuld die too."
"That's where you're wrong."
"We have our ways." He added, cold and cocky.
"What choice will it be? Information or obliteration?"
"And I'm really hoping you're dumb enough to take option two." He snickered.
Boss Nass narrowed his eyes, studying everything about the mercs. Their body posture, their tones of voice and even though their eyes were hidden behind those helmets, he could feel the cold glares directed at him. They weren't bluffing.
His eyes traveled to where several of his men were steadily advancing on the pair. He sighed, holding up a hand and his men ceased. "What information do yousa require?"
"We want the whereabouts of Jar Jar Binks."
"Whysa?"
"To kill him."
"Yousa want to kill oursa esteemed ambassador? Yousa tink wesa will let yousa do dis?"
"You can't stop us."
"I thought we established that."
"........Gibe dem what theysa want."
"Good boy."
"Quiet."
With the information retrieved from the aquatic natives, Felix smirked as Locus retrieved a square cube attached to the back of his armor. "A pleasure doing business with ya!" The orange and steel armored merc called out before his partner activated the teleportation cube and the pair vanished in a flash of light.
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"I still say we should have killed them."
"That's your answer to everything."
"It would have been easier."
"Not everyone is a target, Felix. A gunman is a professional, a shooter is someone who kills cause they got issues."
"Always with the lectures. Cramping my style, Locus."
"Just shut up for once. Our target approaches."
Indeed he was. The clumsy, naive Gungan was sauntering in his careless way towards them. "Greetings there!" He nodded, idiotic grin on his face as he waved and passed them by, continuing on without a care in the world.
"...Pfft. This'll be easy." He remarked with a snort, pulling the pin on a frag grenade and tossing it in a light underhand over Jar Jar's way. "3. 2. 1--"
Jar Jar tripped over the grenade, landing face first onto the cobblestone of Naboo...and the grenade sent knocked back to the mercenary pair.
"...Oh." With a resounding boom the grenade detonated, smoke billowing out and obscuring the damage. Jar Jar quickly righted himself, dusting off his clothes as he stood once more. "Wowsa! Mesa needs to be more careful, mesa too important!"
When the smoke cleared, both Felix and Locus were no worse for wear. The duo safely protected from the damage by Felix's quick reflex with his armor enhancement. Hardlight shields.
"Don't underestimate him again." Locus growled.
"Right right. Idiocy and divine luck. There's a cure for that. Bullets." Felix dropped the shield, both mercenaries raising their guns up. Jar Jar's eyes widened as he turned and ran, going as fast as he could.
"Not again!"
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The hunt is on! Will these two Red vs Blue mercenaries known as Deadpool and Deathstroke--er, Felix and Locus, manage to slay the scourge of the Star Wars prequels? Or will Jar Jar's legendary combination of idiocy, divine luck, plot armor and more save him as he runs through the streets of Naboo?
You decide!
Profiles for all characters:
Felix and Locus
Jar Jar Binks
It goes without saying if it weren't for his being a sideline character, he'd be shot down. Being without these dangerous Gungan/droid weaponry would have rendered his being a side character moot, no? He'll be playing off of Locus and Felix with his stupid crazy luck. Though were it otherwise, We'd be done with Jar Jar Binks the few moments into his first appearance... I know a few people would've loved this, heh.
