Post by austo191 on Jul 6, 2015 1:40:10 GMT
Trailer Park Boys vs. Evil Fucks
"Let's Get This Chubby Chasin Fuck!"
"Let's Get This Chubby Chasin Fuck!"
Julian walks out of his trailer, glass of rum and Coke in hand, and breaths in the beautiful Nova Scotian air. With a smile he took a quick sip of his drink.
"Ya know, it just feels great that after all of these years of fucking around, in the end, I still ended up finally owning Sunnyvale. I grew up here. It's my home. Me, Bubbles, and Ricky would be nothing if not for this park."
Julian started to walk towards his 2005 Porsche 911 Turbo as the camera panned out to show Ricky standing on his porch in similar fashion to Julian. He breathed in the fresh air, and thought about all the things he had gone through to finally get this point. He's once again able to bang Lucy whenever he pleases, and his daughter, Trinity, and son-in-law, Jacob, are together again to raise their baby. His family was together again.
"Ya know, it just feels great that after all of these years of fucking around, in the end, I still ended up finally owning Sunnyvale. I grew up here. It's my home. Me, Bubbles, and Ricky would be nothing if not for this park."
Julian started to walk towards his 2005 Porsche 911 Turbo as the camera panned out to show Ricky standing on his porch in similar fashion to Julian. He breathed in the fresh air, and thought about all the things he had gone through to finally get this point. He's once again able to bang Lucy whenever he pleases, and his daughter, Trinity, and son-in-law, Jacob, are together again to raise their baby. His family was together again.
"These past few months have been fuckin awesome. That fuckhead Lahey's gone and that dickweed Randy's fucked off with him, and I say good mittens to 'em. Things are pretty damn near perfect right now."
Afterwards Ricky began to wonder why he was standing outside breathing in this shit air when he could be inside breathing in the amazing taste of his maple flavored dope. With a quick "Fuck this", Ricky turned around and went back inside.
As he went inside, we pan over to Bubbles, who too was also standing outside, petting his kitty, and looking back at all the shit he had gone through to get to this moment. From losing his multiple businesses, going to jail with his friends, to finally being able to live in his shed in peace with his kitties.
"Things have been goin fuckin great! Just me, Ricky, and Julian gettin fuckin drunk all the time, and at the end of the day, I get to come in and play with all my kitties. I gotta say though, this one new guy moved into Sunnyvale, and every time I see him I get the sense that something's fucky ... I just done know what."
The camera turns around to see this newcomer to the park talking to Janice, the resident obese lady. Then the newcomer looked at the camera.
*Trailer Park Boys intro starts*
"Hey, Bubbles! Have you seen Janice?" Julian asked, rum and Coke still in hand, as he walked up towards Bubbles shed.
"Well, uh, no Julian. I think the last I saw of her she was talking to that new guy. Why, Julian?" Bubbles replied back.
"She's a few weeks behind on her trailer fees, and I've let it go on a little too long." Julian said as he took a quick sip of his drink.
"Why don't you just knock on her door, Julain?"
"Bubs. Don't you think I've tried that. She isn't home. I guess we could try asking that new guy. Maybe he's hiding her or something. C'mon, Bubs, let's go check it out."
***
The two approach the new guys door, and before they could even knock, he answered. He was dressed in an open red robe, with his underwear exposed. "Hello," the man hissed out "How can I help you two?"
Bubbles, with his fucky senses tingling, scooted slightly behind Julian. "Yeah, I'm Julian, the owner of this trailer park, and I'm looking for Janice. My friend here said he saw you talking to her a few days ago. Do you know where she is?"
"Oh, no. We aren't close. I was simply introducing myself to her. I am new here, after all ... Which reminds me, I'm Jame Gumb." He extended his hand out for a handshake.
Julian looked at it for a short while, before reluctantly shaking it. "Well. If you see her again, let me know. Okay?"
Jame nodded his head before slithering back into his trailer. Julian stared at the door for a short while before leaving with Bubbles.
***
"I find it odd that those two would question me. I mean, it's true I have a ... troubled past. But that was a long time ago. I came here to hopefully get a fresh start." Jame admitted to the camera man. Then a weird looking blob of an arm slipped out of the closet behind Jame. The camera zoomed in at it and back out towards Jame. "Heh. Just my Haloween decorations."
***
Later that night.
Ricky, Bubbles, and Julian had once again decided to sit around a campfire, get drunk as fuck, and smoke a shit-ton of dope. This time, however, Bubbles wasn't being his normal bubbly self.
"What's fuckin wrong, Bubbles? You haven't even touched your dope?" Ricky asked.
Bubbles quickly got up out of his chair and began to babble on about that new guy. "That new guy's fucked, boys! There's just something about that freaks me the fuck out."
"What fuckin new guy? We have a new guy in the park?" Ricky blurted out.
"Yes, we have a fuckin new guy. His name's Jame or some Jane or James. I don't fuckin know." Bubbles sniffled out.
"Bubs. I'm sure he's fine. I'll admit he kind of gave me a creepy vibe too, but-"
Ricky interrupted Julian, "Chimes? What do chimes gotta fuckin do with this?"
Julian pondering what the fuck Ricky was talking about replied, "What the fuck are you talking about, Ricky?"
"You said creepy chimes? What does that matter? Is he like a vampire or Count Chocula or something?"
"... I said vibe, Ricky. Not fucking chimes. Anyways, Bubbles, I'm sure it's fine. Now drink up, and let's get fucking drunk."
Bubbles kind of pepped up and took a sip of his liquor.
***
As the weeks went by, more and more fat women were disappearing from Sunnyvale, and Julian began to get worried. How the fuck was he going to be able to support this trailer park when all the fat women would't pay their lot fees. He began to notice the more fat women who disappeared, the more talkative and active that new guy got. He decided to tell the boys about what he thought.
***
"I didn't think that guy could have something to do with this ... but after watching him for a little while, I think he might be the one behind these disappearances. Every time he talks to a fat chick, they end up gone."
"What does it fucking matter anyways, Jules. The less walking whales we got the better. It's survival of the fitness, and they fuckin lost." Ricky exclaimed.
"It matters, Ricky, because if all these people don't pay their lot fees, or at the very least that weird fuck doesn't pay up in their places, we might have to sell the park back to Lahey."
"Fuck! We CANNOT let that drunk fuck own this place again."
"So what do you want us to do, Julian?" Bubbles asked.
"Well. We're gonna have to collect some info on him. Once we have enough we need to catch his ass and turn him into the police. Maybe if he's as fucked as we think he is he'll have some kind of reward on him."
Ricky nodded. "Yeah. I'm fuckin in! I miss the days where we made plans, and did shit, and got money sometimes."
The two then looked over at Bubbles who seemed slightly uncomfortable. ".... Fine! I'm in too, I guess. Whatever gets that creepy bastard out of the park and away from my kitties."
"Fuckin A! Let's get this chubby chasin fuck!" Rick exclaimed.
Julian smiled and took a sip of his drink.
****
Can Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles get enough info on Buffalo Bill to catch him and get his weird ass to the police? It's in your hands!
***
Buffalo Bill: electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/1502/buffalo-bill-character
Trailer Park Boys (Prototype Profile): electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/806/prototype-profile
I'm not sure how many people are aware of who the Trailer Park Boys even are, but I've really been wanting to write these stories somewhere. Here's a wiki to the show - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trailer_Park_Boys
I hope you enjoyed.
