Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2015 13:43:29 GMT
This a new series of short stories showing various characters from across the realm of fiction meeting up in bizarre and unexpected circumstances. It's called EARTH'S GREATEST CROSSOVER CAVALCADE! I hope you all enjoy the first episode, featuring three familiar villains from three famous franchises!
A superhero-fighting mercenary with photographic reflexes, a cyborg criminal, and a psychopathic clown all walk into a bar in Manhattan named MacLaren's...
"Oh, this is going to be fun! Right, fellas?" said the Joker while doing a silly walk through the bar and creeping out all of the other punters with his massive, unnatural grin.
"I literally have no idea who you are, pal." said Tony Masters AKA Taskmaster. He was wearing his classic gaudy white and orange suit, with a cape, a hood, and a rather threatening looking skull mask.
"I think he's been following us around all night, mate." said Kano, the cyborg Black Dragon member. He was prepared to get his knife out just in case the mysterious clown stranger turned out to be too dangerous or annoying.
The Joker smiled at them and said, "Come on, guys! You know me!" However, Kano and Taskmaster only gave him blank and confused looks.
"Get lost, clown! Somethin' about you just ain't right!" yelled Kano aggressively.
"Says the guy with two butterfly knives and a cybernetic eye!" said the Joker. Kano growled at him angrily in response. "I'm like you guys! I'm a dangerous criminal! Can we just hang out? Pretty please?"
"Well, what's your name, stranger?" asked Taskmaster, who sounded more relaxed and inviting than Kano. Taskmaster and Kano sat down in a booth near the wall. Taskmaster was on one side while Kano was on the opposite side and facing him.
"I'm the Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime! I usually hang out in Gotham City, but today, I just said 'What the hell?' and decided to hang out here for a change. I already know who you two naughty men are. You're Taskmaster, the mercenary trainer and you're Kano, the Black Dragon weapon trader."
"You seem to know a lot about us. You been stalking us or something?" questioned Kano suspiciously.
Joker sat down in the booth behind Taskmaster and crossed his legs before saying "No, no, no. I just have connections in the criminal underworld. I am the most dangerous clown in Gotham after all. So what do you say, buddies? Do you wanna hang out? You never know, you might grow to like me! Ha ha!"
"I doubt that, but sure, I guess ya can hang out if ya want." said Taskmaster reluctantly.
"Oh boy!" shouted Joker giddily while rushing over to sit next to Kano in their booth.
"So, Kano, are you related to Hank Henshaw by any chance?" asked Joker while giggling slightly.
"Tony, what on earth's he goin' on about?" asked Kano.
"How should I know? I think he's tryin' to say that you look like someone he knows, though."
"Oh, Tasky, why did you have to go and explain the joke? I might just have to put a couple of bullets in your brain for that." said Joker in a surprisingly sinister voice.
"I'd like to see you try! I have all the skills of the Avengers and photographic reflexes! Anything you can do, I can do too!" boasted Taskmaster while leaning forward.
"Sheesh! I have no idea who the Avengers are, but take a chill pill already!" said the Joker while putting his hands up as if he were innocent.
"I'm really not sure about this, Tony. I mean, what if this guy's an agent of SHIELD sent to spy on us?" asked Kano worriedly.
"Kano, I don't think SHIELD agents dress up in purple suits and wear clown makeup." Taskmaster reassured Kano in a slightly patronising way before whispering, "Besides, I should know, as I'm a sleeper SHIELD agent myself."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Taskmaster, Kano, and Joker all sat together in awkward silence for almost a whole minute while all eyeing each other suspiciously.
"So, Tasky, who are the Avengers?" asked Joker while leaning forward.
"You really don't know? They're like the most powerful superhero team in the world! I've even fought them a few times." replied Taskmaster smugly.
"The most powerful in the world? That would be the Justice League. They're way more powerful than a group of no-names." said the Joker persuasively.
"You're both wrong. The Earthrealm defenders are the most powerful. They're leader is a Thunder God for crying out loud!" chimed in Kano.
"The Avengers have a thunder God on their team too!" yelled Taskmaster.
"What? That can't be right! There can only be one God of Thunder, can't there?" asked a confused cyborg criminal.
Taskmaster slammed his head on the table and then put his hands over his ears. "Ugh... This is makin' my head spin. Even if the God on the Avengers is different to the one who leads the Earthrealm defenders, I bet the one on the Avengers is stronger!"
"Bollocks! Raiden would kick Thor's arse to Jupiter and back if they ever had a fight!" shouted Kano aggressively.
Everyone on the table paused for a second and then started laughing at themselves for taking such a trivial subject seriously. However, all of them quickly went back to looking at each other suspiciously in silence. But then a waitress passed by them. Taskmaster clicked his gloved fingers to get her attention.
"Two beers, please, toots." asked Taskmaster politely.
"Sure." said Wendy the Waitress from the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. The bar the three were in is also from the aforementioned sitcom.
"One tequila with a little umbrella on top for me as well, please." asked Joker while giving Taskmaster a disgruntled look.
"Okay." said Wendy before going over to the bar and collecting the guys' their drinks.
"Thanks." said Kano, who immediately took his beer off the tray that Wendy held the drinks on.
"Um... Are you sure you people are in the right bar? You're all kinda freaking out all the other customers." said Wendy.
Joker turned his head extremely quickly, like how birds do. "What was that?"
A nervous Wendy took a step back. "Uh... Nothing, just forget it."
Joker then quickly drew his trademark long revolver from his suit's inside pocket and the barrel was pointed directly at Wendy's head. Wendy let out a short shriek of terror.
Taskmaster leapt out of his chair. "Woah, Joker! What the hell do ya think you're doin'?"
The Joker continued to stare at Wendy, who was absolutely terrified. The mad clown then pulled the trigger... Only for a comical looking red and yellow ribbon with the word 'BANG!' on it to come out of the barrel. The Joker started laughing uncontrollably while Taskmaster looked rather disgusted by Joker's deranged sense of humour. Kano on the other hand, didn't really give a sh*t and was still casually drinking his beer.
Kano finished off his drink before saying "Well, this turned out to be a night and a half didn't it?"
Taskmaster turned his attention to Kano. The Joker was still laughing and flailing his fake gun around. Taskmaster then said, "Kano, are you nuts?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, that was a stupid question. Kano, let's just get out of here!"
"Not so fast!" said Joker unexpectedly as soon as he heard Taskmaster say that. He turned to Taskmaster and pointed the gun towards him. "Sit down and finish your drink first."
"What? Do you think I'm scared of a toy gun? Don't make me-" Joker cut off Taskmaster's arrogant speech by shooting the flag at Taskmaster's chest. Everyone in the bar screamed and ran out, including Carl the bartender.
"-Laugh? Ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed the Joker, who mockingly finished Taskmaster's sentence for him.
Suddenly, Taskmaster, who was bleeding due to the wound, started laughing uncontrollably too.
"What the bleedin' hell have ya done!?" yelled Kano while getting up to face Joker.
"It's called Happy Gas, Kano, my dear! It could even put a smile on that boney face!" giggled Joker as he went over to the laughing mercenary and tried to remove his mask. "I would show you if I could get this damned mask off. Oh well. Cheerio, Kano!"
Joker goofily ran out of the bar while flailing his arms about crazily. Kano gave chase.
"Oi! Get back here, clown!" exclaimed Kano.
However, when Kano got outside, the purple clad psycho was nowhere to be seen. Kano heard laughter coming from, of all places, above him, and then looked up to see Joker in a small helicopter with a generic looking thug wearing a clown mask. The thug was piloting the helicopter. Joker held what looked like a detonation device in his hand.
"You know, those drinks we had really put some fire in your belly!" yelled Joker, before pressing the button on the detonation device. Kano turned around to see that the whole bar had been rigged with explosives, which all exploded simultaneously in his face. The Joker flew away into the sunset. The explosion caused fire to billow out of every window and door.
"Ha ha... It's funny because alcohol is extremely flammable." chuckled the Joker Gang member who was piloting the helicopter. The Joker turned around and gave the thug a 'Are you f*cking kidding me?' face before snapping the thug's neck and taking over the helicopter's controls.
The Joker got out a photograph from his suit pocket. He smiled before saying "I hope you're ready, darling. I'm coming back home!" You would think that he was talking to a picture of Harley Quinn, his obsessive assistant, but he was actually talking to a picture of Batman.
Meanwhile, across the boundaries between dimensions...
"Well, that was amusing. Same time next week?" said The One Above All, the true omnipotent God who created and observes the Marvel multiverse. Around him were one of the Elder Godsand The Presence, who are the rulers of the Mortal Kombat universe and the DC multiverse, respectively. All three omnipotent beings were just sitting in a studio together while observing the alternate world they had created. They had pulled the Joker, Kano, Taskmaster, and several other beings from their respective worlds and had made them coexist just to see what would happen.
"We should send them all back now, with no memories of course." said The Presence.
All three beings nodded, and instantly, the universe they made disappeared from existence. Joker got sent back to the DC universe, Kano got sent back to the Mortal Kombat universe, etc. All of them were in their previous states and had no memories of what had happened, continuing life as normal.
What crazy crossovers will the three Gods create next?
A superhero-fighting mercenary with photographic reflexes, a cyborg criminal, and a psychopathic clown all walk into a bar in Manhattan named MacLaren's...
"Oh, this is going to be fun! Right, fellas?" said the Joker while doing a silly walk through the bar and creeping out all of the other punters with his massive, unnatural grin.
"I literally have no idea who you are, pal." said Tony Masters AKA Taskmaster. He was wearing his classic gaudy white and orange suit, with a cape, a hood, and a rather threatening looking skull mask.
"I think he's been following us around all night, mate." said Kano, the cyborg Black Dragon member. He was prepared to get his knife out just in case the mysterious clown stranger turned out to be too dangerous or annoying.
The Joker smiled at them and said, "Come on, guys! You know me!" However, Kano and Taskmaster only gave him blank and confused looks.
"Get lost, clown! Somethin' about you just ain't right!" yelled Kano aggressively.
"Says the guy with two butterfly knives and a cybernetic eye!" said the Joker. Kano growled at him angrily in response. "I'm like you guys! I'm a dangerous criminal! Can we just hang out? Pretty please?"
"Well, what's your name, stranger?" asked Taskmaster, who sounded more relaxed and inviting than Kano. Taskmaster and Kano sat down in a booth near the wall. Taskmaster was on one side while Kano was on the opposite side and facing him.
"I'm the Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime! I usually hang out in Gotham City, but today, I just said 'What the hell?' and decided to hang out here for a change. I already know who you two naughty men are. You're Taskmaster, the mercenary trainer and you're Kano, the Black Dragon weapon trader."
"You seem to know a lot about us. You been stalking us or something?" questioned Kano suspiciously.
Joker sat down in the booth behind Taskmaster and crossed his legs before saying "No, no, no. I just have connections in the criminal underworld. I am the most dangerous clown in Gotham after all. So what do you say, buddies? Do you wanna hang out? You never know, you might grow to like me! Ha ha!"
"I doubt that, but sure, I guess ya can hang out if ya want." said Taskmaster reluctantly.
"Oh boy!" shouted Joker giddily while rushing over to sit next to Kano in their booth.
"So, Kano, are you related to Hank Henshaw by any chance?" asked Joker while giggling slightly.
"Tony, what on earth's he goin' on about?" asked Kano.
"How should I know? I think he's tryin' to say that you look like someone he knows, though."
"Oh, Tasky, why did you have to go and explain the joke? I might just have to put a couple of bullets in your brain for that." said Joker in a surprisingly sinister voice.
"I'd like to see you try! I have all the skills of the Avengers and photographic reflexes! Anything you can do, I can do too!" boasted Taskmaster while leaning forward.
"Sheesh! I have no idea who the Avengers are, but take a chill pill already!" said the Joker while putting his hands up as if he were innocent.
"I'm really not sure about this, Tony. I mean, what if this guy's an agent of SHIELD sent to spy on us?" asked Kano worriedly.
"Kano, I don't think SHIELD agents dress up in purple suits and wear clown makeup." Taskmaster reassured Kano in a slightly patronising way before whispering, "Besides, I should know, as I'm a sleeper SHIELD agent myself."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Taskmaster, Kano, and Joker all sat together in awkward silence for almost a whole minute while all eyeing each other suspiciously.
"So, Tasky, who are the Avengers?" asked Joker while leaning forward.
"You really don't know? They're like the most powerful superhero team in the world! I've even fought them a few times." replied Taskmaster smugly.
"The most powerful in the world? That would be the Justice League. They're way more powerful than a group of no-names." said the Joker persuasively.
"You're both wrong. The Earthrealm defenders are the most powerful. They're leader is a Thunder God for crying out loud!" chimed in Kano.
"The Avengers have a thunder God on their team too!" yelled Taskmaster.
"What? That can't be right! There can only be one God of Thunder, can't there?" asked a confused cyborg criminal.
Taskmaster slammed his head on the table and then put his hands over his ears. "Ugh... This is makin' my head spin. Even if the God on the Avengers is different to the one who leads the Earthrealm defenders, I bet the one on the Avengers is stronger!"
"Bollocks! Raiden would kick Thor's arse to Jupiter and back if they ever had a fight!" shouted Kano aggressively.
Everyone on the table paused for a second and then started laughing at themselves for taking such a trivial subject seriously. However, all of them quickly went back to looking at each other suspiciously in silence. But then a waitress passed by them. Taskmaster clicked his gloved fingers to get her attention.
"Two beers, please, toots." asked Taskmaster politely.
"Sure." said Wendy the Waitress from the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. The bar the three were in is also from the aforementioned sitcom.
"One tequila with a little umbrella on top for me as well, please." asked Joker while giving Taskmaster a disgruntled look.
"Okay." said Wendy before going over to the bar and collecting the guys' their drinks.
"Thanks." said Kano, who immediately took his beer off the tray that Wendy held the drinks on.
"Um... Are you sure you people are in the right bar? You're all kinda freaking out all the other customers." said Wendy.
Joker turned his head extremely quickly, like how birds do. "What was that?"
A nervous Wendy took a step back. "Uh... Nothing, just forget it."
Joker then quickly drew his trademark long revolver from his suit's inside pocket and the barrel was pointed directly at Wendy's head. Wendy let out a short shriek of terror.
Taskmaster leapt out of his chair. "Woah, Joker! What the hell do ya think you're doin'?"
The Joker continued to stare at Wendy, who was absolutely terrified. The mad clown then pulled the trigger... Only for a comical looking red and yellow ribbon with the word 'BANG!' on it to come out of the barrel. The Joker started laughing uncontrollably while Taskmaster looked rather disgusted by Joker's deranged sense of humour. Kano on the other hand, didn't really give a sh*t and was still casually drinking his beer.
Kano finished off his drink before saying "Well, this turned out to be a night and a half didn't it?"
Taskmaster turned his attention to Kano. The Joker was still laughing and flailing his fake gun around. Taskmaster then said, "Kano, are you nuts?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, that was a stupid question. Kano, let's just get out of here!"
"Not so fast!" said Joker unexpectedly as soon as he heard Taskmaster say that. He turned to Taskmaster and pointed the gun towards him. "Sit down and finish your drink first."
"What? Do you think I'm scared of a toy gun? Don't make me-" Joker cut off Taskmaster's arrogant speech by shooting the flag at Taskmaster's chest. Everyone in the bar screamed and ran out, including Carl the bartender.
"-Laugh? Ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed the Joker, who mockingly finished Taskmaster's sentence for him.
Suddenly, Taskmaster, who was bleeding due to the wound, started laughing uncontrollably too.
"What the bleedin' hell have ya done!?" yelled Kano while getting up to face Joker.
"It's called Happy Gas, Kano, my dear! It could even put a smile on that boney face!" giggled Joker as he went over to the laughing mercenary and tried to remove his mask. "I would show you if I could get this damned mask off. Oh well. Cheerio, Kano!"
Joker goofily ran out of the bar while flailing his arms about crazily. Kano gave chase.
"Oi! Get back here, clown!" exclaimed Kano.
However, when Kano got outside, the purple clad psycho was nowhere to be seen. Kano heard laughter coming from, of all places, above him, and then looked up to see Joker in a small helicopter with a generic looking thug wearing a clown mask. The thug was piloting the helicopter. Joker held what looked like a detonation device in his hand.
"You know, those drinks we had really put some fire in your belly!" yelled Joker, before pressing the button on the detonation device. Kano turned around to see that the whole bar had been rigged with explosives, which all exploded simultaneously in his face. The Joker flew away into the sunset. The explosion caused fire to billow out of every window and door.
"Ha ha... It's funny because alcohol is extremely flammable." chuckled the Joker Gang member who was piloting the helicopter. The Joker turned around and gave the thug a 'Are you f*cking kidding me?' face before snapping the thug's neck and taking over the helicopter's controls.
The Joker got out a photograph from his suit pocket. He smiled before saying "I hope you're ready, darling. I'm coming back home!" You would think that he was talking to a picture of Harley Quinn, his obsessive assistant, but he was actually talking to a picture of Batman.
Meanwhile, across the boundaries between dimensions...
"Well, that was amusing. Same time next week?" said The One Above All, the true omnipotent God who created and observes the Marvel multiverse. Around him were one of the Elder Godsand The Presence, who are the rulers of the Mortal Kombat universe and the DC multiverse, respectively. All three omnipotent beings were just sitting in a studio together while observing the alternate world they had created. They had pulled the Joker, Kano, Taskmaster, and several other beings from their respective worlds and had made them coexist just to see what would happen.
"We should send them all back now, with no memories of course." said The Presence.
All three beings nodded, and instantly, the universe they made disappeared from existence. Joker got sent back to the DC universe, Kano got sent back to the Mortal Kombat universe, etc. All of them were in their previous states and had no memories of what had happened, continuing life as normal.
What crazy crossovers will the three Gods create next?