Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2015 18:10:29 GMT
Clark Kent was scrolling through a typical Internet forum late at night. He typed in the words 'Superman' into the in built search engine on the website. To his shock, there were about 50 different threads that were about him fighting fellow superhero Batman. Even though Superman generally abhorred the idea of people wanting to see bloodshed, especially between two good people, Clark's main frustration was the fact that so many people believed that Batman could actually win.
Clark leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses. He read a forum post on a site called 'YoloComicFights.com' and read it out loud.
"Batmn wood win b cuz hes BATMAN! Lol superman is boring." sighed Clark in disbelief. How could anyone think a man with no superpowers could beat the Man of Steel in a regular hand to hand fight? As petty as it was, Clark was astounded by the peoples' ignorance. Was his quest to inspire truth and justice in the human race just generating bloodlust?
"Realistically, I think I could take on 50 Bats at once without breaking a sweat!" said Clark to himself.
BLAM!
Suddenly, Clark found himself in a desert devoid of any life. He then saw a light descending from the sky. Even though he was a superhuman being who ran on solar power, he still squinted and had to cover his eyes with his arm. The light then transformed into some kind of indescribably hideous creature.
"Wha- What are you?" asked Superman to the creature.
"I am God."
"G-God?" asked Superman in utter disbelief and horror.
"Yes, my child, it is I." said the God of the South Park universe. You know, this is all pretty casual. Meeting up with God isn't that big a deal, especially in the DC universe.
Bat-Mite, the Batman fanboy from the Fifth Dimension, also appeared in front of Superman.
"What's going on? Why have you summoned me here?" questioned Superman with more composure.
"I had a bet with God over here. We want to know who would win in a fight between you and Batmen, and I said the latter." said Bat-Mite.
Superman sighed loudly. "I am so sick of this! Wait, did you say 'Batmen'?"
"Yes, I did. Well, there are also Batwomen, Batdogs, Batvampires, and a Batcow. You'll have to fight all of them at the same time." said Bat-Mite with a sinister grin on his ugly partially-masked face.
"I won't do it, Bat-Mite, because this is totally insane!" yelled Superman. He tried to fly towards the two near-omnipotent beings, but every time he tried he was teleported back down to the sandy ground.
"You'll have to. In fact, you won't even know you're doing it." said God while raising one arm. A green mist flew out of his fingers and surrounded Superman completely. Superman's eyes started to burn bright red. Bat-Mite then clicked his fingers, and then every Bat-creature ever known was teleported to the desert where Superman stood. All of them also looked pretty ticked off. There was Batman, Batwoman, Batgirl, Batcow, Ace the Bathound, Batwing, and just about every other character who ever had the word 'Bat' in their superhero title, including alternate universe versions of the above mentioned fighters. There was a green energy field that separated Superman from the Bat things. The only one who wasn't there was Superman-Batman.
"Now guys, I bet my entire Batman memorabilia collection on this fight, including the phone bill I never payed after voting to kill off Jason Todd, so please don't lose, for the love of that guy!" yelled Bat-Mite to the Bats while pointing to God, who was behind him.
"Now, you must all fight!" said God as he let the green force field down. Who will win in a fight between a ticked off Superman and every Bat who ever lived (except Superman-Batman)?
electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/33/batman
electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/42/superman
The outcome...
Superman powered through all of the Batmen like a faster-than-light bulldozer, killing most of them. Considering how many Bats there were, Superman was starting to feel the effect of Kryptonite, but Tataooine is a planet with two Suns, so the solar energy's effect nullified the Kryptonite quite quickly. Superman could still think and feel everything, but had no control of his body whatsoever.
He then used his heat vision to annihilate the remaining Bats. One Batman, a Bruce Wayne of another world who wielded a Green Lantern ring, was withstanding the heat vision with a barrier of green energy, but Superman pounded through it and obliterated Green Lantern Batman.
Bat-Mite slapped his face with the palm of his hand. "Really guys? That was the best you could do? Maybe I should have included Superman Batman in your ranks!"
"That would have been against our deal, imp. Now hand over your collection!" said God.
"You are a god! You could just make your own Batman memorabilia collection if you wanted to!" reasoned Bat-Mite.
"Yeah, but that would have been less fun." said God while clicking his fingers. As soon as he did this, his spell over Superman was broken, and all of the Bats returned to life. They were all sent back to their own worlds and had their minds wiped of the past 24 hours. Happily ever after, I guess.
Clark leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses. He read a forum post on a site called 'YoloComicFights.com' and read it out loud.
"Batmn wood win b cuz hes BATMAN! Lol superman is boring." sighed Clark in disbelief. How could anyone think a man with no superpowers could beat the Man of Steel in a regular hand to hand fight? As petty as it was, Clark was astounded by the peoples' ignorance. Was his quest to inspire truth and justice in the human race just generating bloodlust?
"Realistically, I think I could take on 50 Bats at once without breaking a sweat!" said Clark to himself.
BLAM!
Suddenly, Clark found himself in a desert devoid of any life. He then saw a light descending from the sky. Even though he was a superhuman being who ran on solar power, he still squinted and had to cover his eyes with his arm. The light then transformed into some kind of indescribably hideous creature.
"Wha- What are you?" asked Superman to the creature.
"I am God."
"G-God?" asked Superman in utter disbelief and horror.
"Yes, my child, it is I." said the God of the South Park universe. You know, this is all pretty casual. Meeting up with God isn't that big a deal, especially in the DC universe.
Bat-Mite, the Batman fanboy from the Fifth Dimension, also appeared in front of Superman.
"What's going on? Why have you summoned me here?" questioned Superman with more composure.
"I had a bet with God over here. We want to know who would win in a fight between you and Batmen, and I said the latter." said Bat-Mite.
Superman sighed loudly. "I am so sick of this! Wait, did you say 'Batmen'?"
"Yes, I did. Well, there are also Batwomen, Batdogs, Batvampires, and a Batcow. You'll have to fight all of them at the same time." said Bat-Mite with a sinister grin on his ugly partially-masked face.
"I won't do it, Bat-Mite, because this is totally insane!" yelled Superman. He tried to fly towards the two near-omnipotent beings, but every time he tried he was teleported back down to the sandy ground.
"You'll have to. In fact, you won't even know you're doing it." said God while raising one arm. A green mist flew out of his fingers and surrounded Superman completely. Superman's eyes started to burn bright red. Bat-Mite then clicked his fingers, and then every Bat-creature ever known was teleported to the desert where Superman stood. All of them also looked pretty ticked off. There was Batman, Batwoman, Batgirl, Batcow, Ace the Bathound, Batwing, and just about every other character who ever had the word 'Bat' in their superhero title, including alternate universe versions of the above mentioned fighters. There was a green energy field that separated Superman from the Bat things. The only one who wasn't there was Superman-Batman.
"Now guys, I bet my entire Batman memorabilia collection on this fight, including the phone bill I never payed after voting to kill off Jason Todd, so please don't lose, for the love of that guy!" yelled Bat-Mite to the Bats while pointing to God, who was behind him.
"Now, you must all fight!" said God as he let the green force field down. Who will win in a fight between a ticked off Superman and every Bat who ever lived (except Superman-Batman)?
electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/33/batman
electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/42/superman
The outcome...
Superman powered through all of the Batmen like a faster-than-light bulldozer, killing most of them. Considering how many Bats there were, Superman was starting to feel the effect of Kryptonite, but Tataooine is a planet with two Suns, so the solar energy's effect nullified the Kryptonite quite quickly. Superman could still think and feel everything, but had no control of his body whatsoever.
He then used his heat vision to annihilate the remaining Bats. One Batman, a Bruce Wayne of another world who wielded a Green Lantern ring, was withstanding the heat vision with a barrier of green energy, but Superman pounded through it and obliterated Green Lantern Batman.
Bat-Mite slapped his face with the palm of his hand. "Really guys? That was the best you could do? Maybe I should have included Superman Batman in your ranks!"
"That would have been against our deal, imp. Now hand over your collection!" said God.
"You are a god! You could just make your own Batman memorabilia collection if you wanted to!" reasoned Bat-Mite.
"Yeah, but that would have been less fun." said God while clicking his fingers. As soon as he did this, his spell over Superman was broken, and all of the Bats returned to life. They were all sent back to their own worlds and had their minds wiped of the past 24 hours. Happily ever after, I guess.
