Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2015 23:47:10 GMT
Right, so last time in Dell and Tavish's Excellent Adventure, the Engineer, the Demoman, and Merasmus the wizard were all getting shot at by 18th century thugs, and...
Wait, what do you mean that wasn't right? They were in the 1800s, so that means they were in the 18th century, dumbass! Why the hell did I even hire you in the first place, Lawrence!? You're useless! Right, that's it!... NECK SNAP!!!
Anyway, so they were all wandering through the Badlands, with no food or drink. They all went bleedin' crazy!
"Mother! I'm sorry I was never a good enough demolition man! I failed at everythin' in life!" cried the Demoman while his face was firmly planted in Merasmus's chest.
"Get off me, you weak willed fool!" yelled Merasmus while frantically trying to fight Tavish off.
"Sigh... I wonder if any of our teammates miss us back home," said Dell the Engineer.
Meanwhile, back at their home...
"LET THIS BE LESSON FOR YOU, TINY BABY MAN!" yelled the Heavy while furiously throttling the Scout.
"Ugh! I freakin' told you! I... Ugh!.. Didn't... Eat... Your sandvich!" croaked the Scout with what sounded like his dying breaths.
"Heavy, let him go. I found your precious sandvich under a cushion in ze lobby," said the Medic calmly.
"Do you have it, doctor?" asked the towering bear wrestler.
"No... Unfortunately it was obliterated by one of mine and Engineer's little experiments, ha," laughed the Medic nervously while Heavy gave him his 'you're dead to me' look.
"I will not fight you, doctor, because you are friend. But when I get my hands on that yellow hat wearing man I will rip his heart out!" yelled Heavy. Seriously, don't mess with that guy's sandwich. Even I, the mighty Saxton Hale, might get a little scared if I ever did anything to his sandwich.
"Well, you will have to find him first. I haven't seen him in ages. Where on Earth could he be?" pondered the Medic while stroking his non-existent beard. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and purple smoke then filled the room. The Scout coughed, and tried to see what caused the explosion of light.
"What the hell was that?" asked the Scout to his teammates.
"Behold, it is I! Nerasnus!" said a green cloaked figure who looked almost identical to Merasmus, except he had blonde hair and an eyepatch. All three RED teammates just looked at the man with dull looks on their faces, as if to say 'Who the hell is that guy?'
"Ugh... I'm the younger brother of Merasmus. I believe you have encountered him before. I have come here to inform you that my brother sent the Engineer you spoke of, Dell Conagher, and his friend Tavish DeGroot to 1850, and now he is trapped there himself!" said Nerasnus.
"Oh yeah, Demoman is gone too. I guess we never notice him 'cause he's asleep all the time," said the Scout.
"Wait, Engineer, Tavish DeGroot, and Demoman is gone too! Noooooo!" yelled Heavy in despair.
"Tavish DeGroot is the Demoman, you idiot!" said the Medic with an unusual amount of anger in his voice.
"No doubt that you probably had somethin' to do with it! I mean, all you weirdo wizard types are the same. You come to our bases and f*ck everything up while we try to do our God damned jobs!" said the Scout while flailing his aluminium bat in air in an effort to be threatening.
"Trust me, I had nothing to do with this or my brother's idiotic little schemes. I usually keep myself to myself and not interfere with his life, but his ignorant misuse of time travel could destroy the space time continuum," exclaimed Nerasnus.
"So why do ya keep yaself to yaself, then, huh? If you're a magician too, then you could've helped us out when we fought him all those times!" yelled the Scout, furiously.
"Because Merasmus took out my God damned eye! He was trying to perform a spell to make his pet mongoose grow bigger by talking backwards to it or something, but let's just say that it backfired," said the good wizard. "I could help your friends and save the world, but I might need your help. If Merasmus is with your friends, then it is likely that he will try to cock everything up for us royally, and you guys will have to stop him!"
"Well, we don't really have anything better to do at the moment, so, I'm in," said the Scout with a notable lack of enthusiasm in his voice. Are you guys, in?"
The Medic and Heavy nodded, and all three went off with Nerasnus. To be continued...
Wait, what do you mean that wasn't right? They were in the 1800s, so that means they were in the 18th century, dumbass! Why the hell did I even hire you in the first place, Lawrence!? You're useless! Right, that's it!... NECK SNAP!!!
Anyway, so they were all wandering through the Badlands, with no food or drink. They all went bleedin' crazy!
"Mother! I'm sorry I was never a good enough demolition man! I failed at everythin' in life!" cried the Demoman while his face was firmly planted in Merasmus's chest.
"Get off me, you weak willed fool!" yelled Merasmus while frantically trying to fight Tavish off.
"Sigh... I wonder if any of our teammates miss us back home," said Dell the Engineer.
Meanwhile, back at their home...
"LET THIS BE LESSON FOR YOU, TINY BABY MAN!" yelled the Heavy while furiously throttling the Scout.
"Ugh! I freakin' told you! I... Ugh!.. Didn't... Eat... Your sandvich!" croaked the Scout with what sounded like his dying breaths.
"Heavy, let him go. I found your precious sandvich under a cushion in ze lobby," said the Medic calmly.
"Do you have it, doctor?" asked the towering bear wrestler.
"No... Unfortunately it was obliterated by one of mine and Engineer's little experiments, ha," laughed the Medic nervously while Heavy gave him his 'you're dead to me' look.
"I will not fight you, doctor, because you are friend. But when I get my hands on that yellow hat wearing man I will rip his heart out!" yelled Heavy. Seriously, don't mess with that guy's sandwich. Even I, the mighty Saxton Hale, might get a little scared if I ever did anything to his sandwich.
"Well, you will have to find him first. I haven't seen him in ages. Where on Earth could he be?" pondered the Medic while stroking his non-existent beard. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and purple smoke then filled the room. The Scout coughed, and tried to see what caused the explosion of light.
"What the hell was that?" asked the Scout to his teammates.
"Behold, it is I! Nerasnus!" said a green cloaked figure who looked almost identical to Merasmus, except he had blonde hair and an eyepatch. All three RED teammates just looked at the man with dull looks on their faces, as if to say 'Who the hell is that guy?'
"Ugh... I'm the younger brother of Merasmus. I believe you have encountered him before. I have come here to inform you that my brother sent the Engineer you spoke of, Dell Conagher, and his friend Tavish DeGroot to 1850, and now he is trapped there himself!" said Nerasnus.
"Oh yeah, Demoman is gone too. I guess we never notice him 'cause he's asleep all the time," said the Scout.
"Wait, Engineer, Tavish DeGroot, and Demoman is gone too! Noooooo!" yelled Heavy in despair.
"Tavish DeGroot is the Demoman, you idiot!" said the Medic with an unusual amount of anger in his voice.
"No doubt that you probably had somethin' to do with it! I mean, all you weirdo wizard types are the same. You come to our bases and f*ck everything up while we try to do our God damned jobs!" said the Scout while flailing his aluminium bat in air in an effort to be threatening.
"Trust me, I had nothing to do with this or my brother's idiotic little schemes. I usually keep myself to myself and not interfere with his life, but his ignorant misuse of time travel could destroy the space time continuum," exclaimed Nerasnus.
"So why do ya keep yaself to yaself, then, huh? If you're a magician too, then you could've helped us out when we fought him all those times!" yelled the Scout, furiously.
"Because Merasmus took out my God damned eye! He was trying to perform a spell to make his pet mongoose grow bigger by talking backwards to it or something, but let's just say that it backfired," said the good wizard. "I could help your friends and save the world, but I might need your help. If Merasmus is with your friends, then it is likely that he will try to cock everything up for us royally, and you guys will have to stop him!"
"Well, we don't really have anything better to do at the moment, so, I'm in," said the Scout with a notable lack of enthusiasm in his voice. Are you guys, in?"
The Medic and Heavy nodded, and all three went off with Nerasnus. To be continued...