Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2014 21:05:10 GMT
Welcome back to Storytime with SAXTON HALE! In the previous chapter, the Demoman and the Engineer were sent back in time to 1850 by Merasmus the crummy magician. Coincidently, that happened to be the same year the RED and BLU teams were founded...
"This place doesn't look any different to me, Merasmus. I highly doubt some prehistoric reptilians could build that!" said the Engineer, while pointing towards the newly built town of Teufort.
"Oh god dammit! That was all the time-travel potion I had left!" yelled Merasmus while chucking his hat onto the floor. Now remember kids, hats are expensive fashion items designed by Mann Co, so don't smash them onto the floor like Merasmus, alright?
"You better scoot outta here, ya stupid wizard! Or me and Engie here'll have to clobber you into next week!" shouted the Demoman while cracking his knuckles.
"What's the point in beating me up? I'm your only hope of returning to the 1970s, so you should probably help me find some more time-travel potion, or we'll be stuck here till we die!" said Merasmus while grovelling on the floor like a fool.
"He's got a point, Demoman. I may be a brain box, but I don't think even I could figure out a way to time travel, especially in... Whatever time we're in," said Engineer in an attempt to calm the Demoman down.
"Ay. Best get on yer feet, Merasmus, coz we're goin' ta Teufort!" said the Demoman in a surprisingly upbeat tone of voice.
When the group finally reached Teufort, the town was deserted. Suddenly, a gunshot was fired from behind a building, and the three of them went to investigate. What the saw was the original RED and BLU teams during it out in the streets of Teufort, where the two teams would continue battling for over a hundred years! Blimey, doesn't time fly!
Abraham Lincoln (The original Pyro), Billy the Kid (The original Scout) and Stonewall Jackson (The original Soldier) were teaming up to take down Fu Manchu (The original Spy) and Alfred Nobel (The original Demoman)! I bet some historians are crying right now, but this is all 100% true! Saxton Hale doesn't lie!
Fu Manchu was shooting at Billy the Kid from behind a barrel, and Abraham Lincoln was trying to fry Alfred Nobel with a flamethrower. However, Billy the Kid shot the barrel, and both Fu Manchu and Nobel blew up while Dell, Tavish and Merasmus looked on in awe.
"Hey, hang on a minute. Aren't these guys the original RED and BLU teams? They sure do look familiar!" exclaimed the Engineer.
"Ay, but doesn't that make this the 1850s?" asked Demoman.
"Wow, RED and BLU have really been fighting that long? What is it all for? Who controls all of it? And why the hell is Abraham Lincoln carrying a flamethrower?" yelled Merasmus in disgust.
"Abraham who?" asked both Engineer and Demoman in unison.
Merasmus was about to sigh, but it was cut short when his hat was blown off by Billy the Kid! Why does everyone hate hats all of a sudden? What have hats ever done to anyone?
"Y'all better tell us just who the hell you folks are or we'll blow yer brains out!" said Billy the Kid in a very threatening tone.
"NECK SNAP!" yelled the Engineer, who leaped up and snapped Billy the Kid's neck faster than the speed of sound!
Abraham Lincoln and Stonewall Jackson then chased the three heroes around for a bit before they got bored and went back to base while Demo, Engie and Merasmus all hid in a building.
"What the bloody hell was that!?" asked Demoman loudly.
"When you hang around with the Soldier for so long, some of his stupid character traits rub off on ya," said Engineer.
"Yeah, but I never saw you as the neck snappin' type of bloke,"
"Guys, we better get moving!" said Merasmus.
To be continued...
"This place doesn't look any different to me, Merasmus. I highly doubt some prehistoric reptilians could build that!" said the Engineer, while pointing towards the newly built town of Teufort.
"Oh god dammit! That was all the time-travel potion I had left!" yelled Merasmus while chucking his hat onto the floor. Now remember kids, hats are expensive fashion items designed by Mann Co, so don't smash them onto the floor like Merasmus, alright?
"You better scoot outta here, ya stupid wizard! Or me and Engie here'll have to clobber you into next week!" shouted the Demoman while cracking his knuckles.
"What's the point in beating me up? I'm your only hope of returning to the 1970s, so you should probably help me find some more time-travel potion, or we'll be stuck here till we die!" said Merasmus while grovelling on the floor like a fool.
"He's got a point, Demoman. I may be a brain box, but I don't think even I could figure out a way to time travel, especially in... Whatever time we're in," said Engineer in an attempt to calm the Demoman down.
"Ay. Best get on yer feet, Merasmus, coz we're goin' ta Teufort!" said the Demoman in a surprisingly upbeat tone of voice.
When the group finally reached Teufort, the town was deserted. Suddenly, a gunshot was fired from behind a building, and the three of them went to investigate. What the saw was the original RED and BLU teams during it out in the streets of Teufort, where the two teams would continue battling for over a hundred years! Blimey, doesn't time fly!
Abraham Lincoln (The original Pyro), Billy the Kid (The original Scout) and Stonewall Jackson (The original Soldier) were teaming up to take down Fu Manchu (The original Spy) and Alfred Nobel (The original Demoman)! I bet some historians are crying right now, but this is all 100% true! Saxton Hale doesn't lie!
Fu Manchu was shooting at Billy the Kid from behind a barrel, and Abraham Lincoln was trying to fry Alfred Nobel with a flamethrower. However, Billy the Kid shot the barrel, and both Fu Manchu and Nobel blew up while Dell, Tavish and Merasmus looked on in awe.
"Hey, hang on a minute. Aren't these guys the original RED and BLU teams? They sure do look familiar!" exclaimed the Engineer.
"Ay, but doesn't that make this the 1850s?" asked Demoman.
"Wow, RED and BLU have really been fighting that long? What is it all for? Who controls all of it? And why the hell is Abraham Lincoln carrying a flamethrower?" yelled Merasmus in disgust.
"Abraham who?" asked both Engineer and Demoman in unison.
Merasmus was about to sigh, but it was cut short when his hat was blown off by Billy the Kid! Why does everyone hate hats all of a sudden? What have hats ever done to anyone?
"Y'all better tell us just who the hell you folks are or we'll blow yer brains out!" said Billy the Kid in a very threatening tone.
"NECK SNAP!" yelled the Engineer, who leaped up and snapped Billy the Kid's neck faster than the speed of sound!
Abraham Lincoln and Stonewall Jackson then chased the three heroes around for a bit before they got bored and went back to base while Demo, Engie and Merasmus all hid in a building.
"What the bloody hell was that!?" asked Demoman loudly.
"When you hang around with the Soldier for so long, some of his stupid character traits rub off on ya," said Engineer.
"Yeah, but I never saw you as the neck snappin' type of bloke,"
"Guys, we better get moving!" said Merasmus.
To be continued...