SKWD 18: Old Sport

SKWD 18: OLD SPORT

(This match was suggested by SSJRuss.)



I know you want to know about Kuma's scuffle with the Kool Aid Man, but before I can tell you that story, I need to tell you this one:



Not too long ago, on an industrial pier, there was a historic battle taking place. The reluctant gathering of villains known as the SKWD battling Scrooge McDuck's Anti-SKWD (you can read that story here: electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/5118/8-skwd-anti and electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/5161/skwd-symbiote-possessed-composite-superman). This fight broke down into eight different contests.



One of them was Waluigi vs Scrooge McDuck, himself.



Imagine a sword fight, except with a duck-sized cane and a tennis racket. The ambiance of the duel was enhanced by the white glow of the full moon in the otherwise dark sky. The two breathed heavily in between their flurry of swings, "I'm no spring chicken," Scrooge's brow was drenched in sweat, "but there be enough guff in me to take a pencil neck nobody like yerself."



Waluigi heaved, "Oh yeah!?" He shook his fist and threw his racket his opponent's face.



Scrooge had enough time to swing his cane and knock the thing out of the way, avoiding the unorthodox maneuver. The distraction gave the Purple Plumber enough time to tackle the duck. Within a moment, he was punching McDuck in his gut, and biting the side of his face. "WHY YOU!" The two rolled on the ground, eventually becoming one of those rumbling balls of smoke that cartoon characters turn into when they scuffle. They barely even noticed the blimp with the massive television flying over them in the sky. Then Amanda Waller's face appeared on it. While the Wall was giving her, long vengeful speech, Scrooge and Waluigi realized they had bigger problems, than each other and began running in opposite directions.



Waluigi and Scrooge both scrambled just as the hoard of villains rained down upon them. The list of falling badguys was too numerous to list here, but everyone from the LA Kings to the Ghost of Ben Franklin came pouring from the TV screen. The first one who hit the ground happened to be Katz, from Courage the Cowardly Dog, and he landed right on Waluigi.



The two tumbled for a bit with Katz landing on top. He gently pounced off Wal and landed on his feet a little ways away from him.



He slicked back the fur on the top of his head and composed himself. “Sorry about that, old Sport,” he said coolly, “They did not give us very much notice before dumping us out of that wretched balloon. It’s very unsporting to ambush someone like that, for that I do apologize.”



Waluigi was nearly having a panic attack on the concrete. He hated cats. He recalls Princess Peach attacking him in a catsuit one time. From then on, he wasn’t a fan.



Katz looked at the chaos around them, the Marvel Zombies were ganging up on Goldar, Blackfire was simultaneously flying away from and blasting at a Blackwar Greymon, there were lasers and bodies flying everywhere, the two calmest figures were the two caught in this conversation, “I very much dislike all this senseless violence,” he sighed, “I prefer to give my enemies an opportunity, do you understand what I’m saying, old sport?”



Elsewhere on the battlefield you could hear Gaston yell, “I’m going to use your scales in my decorating!” while he lunged at Killer Croc.



“I’m saying we play a game, a game with rules and stakes,” he pulled a martini shaker and glass out of seemingly nowhere and began pouring himself a drink, “We both enter with equal footing and with an understanding of the outcome. A contest of death.” He took a sip of his drink, “you game?”



Waluigi sat up, not knowing that directly behind him Kid Muscle and Meta Knight were double teaming Xigbar. He was still terrified, but nodded.



“Grand, I’m proficient at racquetball, do you play?”



From that question, spawned the most epic game of racquetball ever played. In the middle of this warzone, the SKWD and the Anti-SKWD were battling Waller’s forces with the neatest exchanges going around. WreckIt Ralph was fighting the Blue Monstar from SpaceJam for a long period of time, Killer Croc ripped Gaston’s left arm off and was immediately attacked by the Crows from Dumbo, Shego was exchanging laser blasts with Storm Troopers, and…well, we’re not focusing on those things, we’re talking about the racquetball game in the middles of it.



Waluigi pulled out his tennis racket while Katz was content to use him hand. Have you ever seen the first episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog? Where Katz challenges Courage to the same game and effortless beats him? It was a lot like that, except the game lasted hours and was occurring at a much higher rate of speed. Waluigi was no joke, he originated from the Mario Tennis series, he was made for this kind of stuff. But Katz was breezing through the entire game, never once putting down his martini glass.



“I say,” Katz was grinning, “you’re quite good.” Waluigi couldn’t answer through the grunts he let out with every hit.



As previously stated, this game lasted for hours, with neither one of them letting the ball pass them once. No one had scored by the time Android 18 flew off, Xigbar died, and Blackfire and Red X carried away Goldar’s bleeding body.



“This game has been time consuming,” Katz said annoyed, “I’d really like to kill you soon, so lets say first point wins?” Waluigi couldn’t answer. He was about to collapse.



Katz swatted the racquet ball off the wall they were playing on so hard, it cracked the brick. The ball came flying right at Wal’s face, and he knew he couldn’t get it. He watched it approach and get closer and closed his eyes waiting for the impact. But it never came.



“What?!” Katz screamed, throwing down his glass, “What are you doing?!”



“Naughty, naughty Mr. Kitty,” Waluigi heard a high pitched, female voice say. He opened his eyes to see Harley Quinn standing in front of him, the ball in one hand and a giant hammer in the other. “Time to stop playin’ with ya food, we got work to do.” She raised the massive weapon over her head and brought it down on the plummer’s head. He would later wake up in Arkham Asylum.



~~~



(Present Day)



Shattered pieces of the Kool-Aid Man laid all over the ground, contributing to the cluttered assortment of jagged objects already on the warehouse floor. Kuma the Bear panted in exhaustion. He was saddened that the fight got pushed to this point, his intention was not to break his friend, but in his final moments he wouldn't give up. KAM jus kept screaming, “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!” with every swing of his arms, like he was trying to hype himself back up and rally. Every time Kuma landed a counterstrike put a little bit of a crack in a different part of his glassy skin.


A headbutt from the massive bear was the final straw, causing the mascots outer shell to disintegrate. For a split second, the liquid that comprised the Kool Aid Man stood in place, as the glass around him faded away. A big frown was apparent in his green liquid, a look of profound sadness covered his face before he lost form splashed on the ground.


“Remind me not to **** with that bear…” Goldar whispered to Shego.


~~~



Amanda Waller was incredibly smug as she sat at her desk. Elbows leaning against the dark oak top, her hands folded in front of her mouth to hide her slight smile. She had a world of options when it came to acquiring super powered assistants. Beings from any franchise or genre from across the multi-verse were fair play, and she managed to comprise the perfect team. The SKWD had been a thorn in her side too long, she ignored her sense of restraint and went to long, messy means to gather a group of people who could, not only defeat the SKWD, but humiliate them. She knew exactly how to destroy their psyches, strain their interpersonal relationships, crush them on physical and emotional levels.



That mind controlled group was standing in front of her now.



Composite Superman, on loan from Lex Luthor, was the only person in this long series of events that could make android 18 sweat.


Judge Doom, a severe cartoon maniac with access to the only material on Earth (Dip) that could melt the Grinch in his tracks.


Red X, the little love struck puppy that arrived to this timeline with Blackfire.


Katz, the cool and confident kitty looking for revenge against Waluigi.


Dr. Neo Cortex, frequent enemy and former member of the SKWD came crawling to her looking for refuge. She granted it as long as he vowed to help end the SKWD. His creation, Koala Kong stood menacingly behind him.


Marcelene the Vampire Queen, a great asset in previous missions involving the SKWD and now one of Waller’s top generals.


The Black Puddle Queen, Marcelene’s right hand woman.


Sam, Alex, and Clover, the Totally Spies. If Shego had trouble with one teenage crime fighter, how would she do against three?


Steve Irwin, a master of wrangling crocodiles, he had been embarrassed by Killer Croc before but this time they would face off more prepared. Mr. Irwin was hooked up to a healthy supply of Venom, the same substance that gave Bane his immense strength.


And they would all be lead by the Master, an alternate tyrannical of Mr. Fantastic, that was apart of the Illuminati.


“There are so few of us left, Mr. Richards,” Waller said before they were about to leave.


The Master held back from screaming at her, but managed to let out a restrained, “That’s Dr. Richards.”


“Shut up Richards and listen to me,” Waller stood from her seat, “Hulk Hogan and Malicefant are both dead, they were slain by the group of people you’re about to battle. I have given you the tools. It’s up to you to finish the job. We know where they are based on the intelligence the Kool-Aid Man gave us, now finish this once and for all.”


“As you wish, your majesty…” he said sarcastically, making a hand motion signaling his team for his team to



~~~



"Brahahahahahahaha! Yes, yes, YUHESSS!" Mojo cackled manically, shaking his fists in victory, "I've done it! I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT!" The rush of victory was making his brain pulsate, expanding every other second, causing his oversized brain to touch the inside of his helmet. "I, Mojo Jojo, have finally done it! I have defeated those wretched Powerpuff Girls!"



He wasn't lying.



Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup all laid in crumpled heaps on the steps of town hall.



"What do you mean 'I'?" HIM asked him, visibly annoyed, "We allllll lent a hand."



"Yeah!" Princess Morbucks pointed at the maniacal monkey, "You weren't the only one, like, I helped too!"



"I done hit da green one with da butt of my boomstick!" Fuzzy Lumpkins interjected.



Yeah, guys, the Beat-Alls were back together, and they legitimately pummeled Townsville's favorite daughters in a straight up fight.



This is the darkest timeline.



~~~



While the entire group watched as the Kool-Aid Man smashed onto the floor, the Monopoly Man tugged on Cool Trainer Alyssa’s sleeve. She looked at him and he motion his head toward the door, it was time for them to leave while they could. As they both turned to slink away, they ran into Goldar standing with his arms crossed.


“Where do you think you’re going, little man?” he sneered, “We have unfinished business.”


Shego took her place behind him, cracking her knuckles.


“Are we still doing this, really?” 18 questioned.


“Come on, everyone else wants to,” Morty pleaded, pressing a button on his watch, covering him in robotic armor.


“Make it quick, I guess,” she rolled her eyes and walked toward the window sill, so she could sit.


Alyssa took this time to release a few of her Pokemon as Morty, Goldar, and Shego were circling in on them.

Killer Croc grabbed Goldar’s shoulder and pushed him back. Goldar, incensed, stood eye to eye with his rival, both of them snarling, “We are not doing this,” Croc commanded him.


“I’m sorry,” Goldar was practically screaming, “Is your name Rita Repulsa? Cause last I checked, it wasn’t, and the only person who tells me what to do is RITA!”


“You’re going to sit here act like you’re not Shego’s bitch, Goldylocks?”


“Now that was uncalled for!” Shego took her eyes off her original targerts and shoved Croc. And from there…communication kind of disintegrated…


Grinch got dragged into the verbal argument somehow, Morty was trying to refocus everybody’s hatred of Pennybags, Blackfire was trying to point out how dumb everyone was acting, Android 18 sat in a corner waiting for things to be sorted out, Kuma soon joined her curled up at her feet and watched the chaos.


Of course, that’s when Waller’s newest group decided to show up blasting hole in the wall.





~~~



So the Beat-Alls were free to rule the ciity of Townsville with four separate, yet equally united, iron fists. They prepared to send the girls, the professor, the Mayor, and Ms. Bellum into an inter-dimensional portal with a device Mojo created. "It's perfect, perfect, perfect!" He said to no one in particular as he set the dial on his raygun to the correct setting, his enemies all lying unconscious in front of him. "With this latest invention, which I invented, the Pwowwer Pwuff Guwwls and their friends will be sent to another place, another time, with no way to get back to this time, which we will ruling. Their presence will darken my door no more, no more will my door be darkened, fore they will not be here to stand where my door stands, and darken it."



"Blah, blah, blah," Princess hovered with her jetpack, hands on her waist, "don't get cocky you stupid monkey, they're not gone yet."



"Dem Powderpuff Gurls ain't gonna get up," he stood, veins pulsing while he held a boulder over his head, "or Imma gonna smash dem wid dis here rock!"





"You could do it anyway," HIM hissed seductively, "Just to make suuuuuure..."





"No!" Jojo protested, "I do not want them dead, which is what would happen, if you dropped that rock on them, they must remain alive, I want them to KNOW that they were defeated, I want them to know who defeated them, that person is me. If they are not alive, they won't know that I defeated them."





"You?" Princess stuck her tongue out in disgust, "I did most of the work."



"I hit 'em with my boomstick!" Fuzzy yelled.



Soon the four of them were mercilessly bickering. Usually the in-fighting started during the fight with the Girls. One would have hoped that they would get along, having accomplished their mutual goal. That didn't happen.



In the middle of the verbal dispute, Mojo threw his portal gun on the ground. The device bounced just within arm’s reach of Blossom. The natural born leader weakly opened her eyes. She saw all of her arch enemies standing in close proximity to each other, totally not paying attention to her. Her arm shook as she reached out to the weapon, eventually raising it just above her head.





The four superbaddies didn't notice until the green beam went past them, stopping directly behind them, and opening the rip in reality. They screamed as, one by one, were sucked in. As soon as they were nowhere in sight, Blossom dropped the gun and collapsed in exhaustion.



~~~

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. An assortment of menacing looking people, including some enemies and familiar from the past, stood in the massive hole in the wall.


Composite Superman, Judge Doom, Red X, Katz, Dr. Neo Cortex, Koala Kong, Marcelene the Vampire Queen, Black Puddle Queen, the Totally Spies, Bane Steve Irwin, and the Master stood there menacingly.


“Hello SKWD,” the Master fidgeted with a device in his hand, not even looking at them, “We’re here to eradicate you. Stay were you are, your personal antithesis will be with you shortly to tend to your demise.”


Before they could spring into action, a third party joined them, the Beat-Alls fell through a green portal in the middle in between the two sides.


The Master looked spooked, Waller’s forces were distracted just long enough for the SKWD to strike.


The only member who didn’t spring forward to fight, was Waluigi. He took one step back.


Katz slowly stalked toward the plumber, sipping his dry martini. He effortless walked through being infinitely more powerful than himself blasting laser beings at other world breakers. He never broke eye contact with Waluigi.


As soon as he passed through all the carnage, Katz threw his glass at the floor, contributing to all the other shards of glass. With his other hand, he pulled out the dreaded sphere from behind his back.

“So,” he eyed the racquetball and smirked, “you ready to finish our game, Old Sport?”


~~~


We’re winding down friends! On my way out, I wanted to use this suggested match from a while ago. Thanks to SSJ for recommending this bout. And on that note! From this point on, if someone loses their fight, they die! End of their story! It happened to the Kool Aid Man, and it will happen again! We’ll see who is standing at the end of this battle, which are of course to come!


While the climactic battle is going on around them, Waluigi and Katz must play a game of racquetball amidst the broken glass. They are both high level, great players, must survive game to win. So who has this? Thanks for reading and thanks for voting!

Waluigi - electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/4828/waluigi

Katz - electricferret.freeforums.net/thread/5404/katz-courage-cowardly-dog